May 14

“Can you deceive God, as one person deceives another?”  Job 13:9

“Examine yourselves to see whether you are living in the faith.  Test yourselves.  Do you not realize that Jesus Christ is in you?”  2 Corinthians 13:5

“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!”  If no one tells, no one will know … what I did … what I said ……… What was I thinking?!??  God only knows.

Even if I hold my tongue, my face usually gives me away – no poker face here.  My eyes tear up reading the newspaper.  My cheeks turn pink when I am embarrassed or lying.  I scowl when I am frustrated and glare when I am angry.  What happens in the heart doesn’t stay in the heart.  Others suspect …. And God surely knows.

Harder than checking my words and managing my face is controlling my thoughts.  I find it comforting that God knows my prayers even before I ask – what I want, what I need.  But then it is embarrassing and humbling that God also knows what I am thinking when I’m not praying; when I am unjustly angry, impatient, annoyed.  For better or for worse, God knows … and stays with me. 

This isn’t Vegas anymore, and what we are feeling isn’t a secret.  Big girls do cry.  Our frustrations, fears and anxieties, loneliness and grief – God knows.  And we can wear our hearts on our sleeves in a healthy way … seeking comfort in the voices of others, sharing our cares while caring for them.  Our pastor emphasized in the sermon last Sunday that Jesus is not just with us, but in us.  Jesus … knows what we do, who we are (by name!), and loves us anyway – guide for our pathway; comfort for our woes; the source of our joy and peace. 

“O Lord, you have searched me and known me.  You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from far away.  You search out my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways.  Even before a word is on my tongue, O Lord, you know it completely.  You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.”  (Psalm 139:1-5)  Amen

Verla Olson